Deceiving and Growing
by onlyfrequency
Summary: Burn, or become ash. Hinamori comes to terms with Tobiume, herself, and the recent events in Seireitei. Spoilers up to end of Karakura Arrancar arc.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Bleach. Nuff said.

* * *

Deceiving and Growing

* * *

It was odd, coming here the first time, the second time, even the third, realizing that the trees would always be flowering, petals raining down on her with soft and gentle caresses. The only time it was different was when it rained, the bitterly cold water turning the ground into a mire of mud, the trees shaking in a fierce wind that on any other day would be a warm, reassuring breeze. It had rained a lot recently, she noted, kicking at one of the branches littering the ground.

The other thing that had stuck her as odd was the spirit. It wasn't so much the size - after all, she should know better than anyone that size doesn't matter - but so much as that the form didn't suit. The small, almost sprite like creature with a laugh like wind chimes in a summer breeze and a voice like silk and honey did not match the zanpakuto's power. Firebird, they said, but the form she knew suited the name Flying Plum better, that much was evident. The small, bird-like wings in crimson gold contrasted sharply with the light pink blossoms that were her hair. She hadn't noticed anything wrong with the zanpakuto, in fact liking the smaller, childish spirit a lot more than Rangiku's lazy cat, Hitsugaya's roaring dragon, Abarai's snarky chimera. So Tobiume and Hinamori had spent years perfecting their bond, the zanpakuto letting her see what she wanted, both with the firm belief in protecting each other and those around them with the brightest of fires.

But Tobiume had noticed Hinamori's comfort in the known; in the way she knew what would happen, the way the papers were always the same sort, her route to and from the division's offices the same. And Tobiume's whispered warning fell on deaf ears - _I need room to grow, Momo. Normalacy and structure are inhibiting. You honestly think this is my real form?_ - Hinamori herself too wrapped up in thoughts of being the best vice captain with no dreams to ascend higher. Bankai was a captain's job, she assumed, and Tobiume's flame grew a little colder with each day that Hinamori was content to be nothing more than a diligent vice.

As she lay there, in the wet ground, rain falling once more as she let the memories wash over her, Tobiume growled from the shelter of the trees. _You're not a child. Didn't you pull your hair up to look more mature? Are you going to let this one thing prevent you from protecting those you love most?_

"Shut up." No more than a whisper, all the girl could manage. Here was safe, even in the near torrential downpour, here was light and dark in a happy medium, here she wasn't scarred, broken, defeated. Here it didn't matter that she'd been abandoned by everything she'd ever believed in.

The trees were petal-less for the first time, when she next opened her eyes. The mud held her down and it was with great effort that she scrambled to her feet, futile efforts to brush off the dirt even as the rain continued. She could have been out for days or mere minutes. She'd always managed to lose track of time in here.

Branches and withered flowers littered the ground.

It had used to be a pretty place. But now even Tobiume hid from view, way back in the trees, away from the girl that didn't realize that the gentle sprite was only the first stage. The zanpakauto had grown tired of Hinamori's attempts to hold on to some shred of her childhood, had removed its warmth. _I chose you for a reason. I wanted someone who would help me grow. I wanted you because you could grow too._

_Fire isn't anger. It doesn't have to be hot. True fire is the absence of heat, Momo. What do I have to do for you to realize that? I won't break this bond. I **won't**._ She shivered, freezing, the wind ripping through her shinigami robes like they didn't exist. Like she didn't exist.

Her existence was worthless, a mess of confusion ever since she'd found her dead captain alive and holding his zanpakuto to her flesh. She was broken, she realized with a whimper, she was scarred, broken, defeated. Dead. She had been left for dead, with no one to come to her aid, no one but her captain with his suddenly cold face.

She woke up screaming.

The fourth division members had never heard a more chilling noise.

* * *

She hadn't returned since that day, hadn't dared pick up her zanpakuto and face its materialized form. But now it was forceful, pulling her back as Hitsugaya faded from her vision and she wanted to scream for him to help her but what could he do, really? He'd looked defeated at her insistence that her captain was being used, and he was so far away now. Fire ripped at her body and she realized with a sinking heart that no matter how much it rained the still petal-less trees continued to burn, all the brighter as wind whipped through them. She screamed for the sake of screaming, cried because it only added to the water running down her face.

The fire was cold to the touch, far colder than anything she'd ever felt, probably even colder than Hitsugaya's bankai and she realized for the first time that she was afraid of herself, afraid of the zanpakuto spirit that regarded her with a frown. _Are you going to let yourself become ash?_

No.

_Are you going to give in?_

No.

_Will you continue to stay as you are?_

No.

_Are you afraid of this coldness?_

No.

_Are you unhappy, Momo?_

She screamed again, screamed until her throat was raw, until she was choking on her tears and the rain, hands numb from clutching mud and withered grass. "Unhappy?" she sobbed out, voice gaining a hard edge as her blurred gaze settled on the only real colour in the forest - the crimson gold wings - and she continued "Unhappy? How can I be anything _but_ unhappy? This place is dead, Tobiume! And I'm as good as dead with it!"

_No. You are alive, Momo. Your soul still burns. He smothered you, kept you banked as a means of holding power over you. But this place can bloom again from your own will, if you let it. We won't ever be the same, but we will be together. I won't let you give in, Hinamori Momo. You belong to me, not the traitorous man. The entirety of the thirteen squads could not keep me from claiming you. If you know nothing else, know that._

She shrank away from the silk and honey voice, shrank away because it suddenly contained so much _more _than that, a burning edge that spoke of heat and desire and want and need and all the things Hinamori had refused herself in her quest to become as Aizen wanted - a flame user that didn't burn. She would laugh if her broken voice had been capable of it, the irony of that simple statement washing over her. How could she _not_ burn? Burn with her childish emotions, her desire to protect, to serve, to be something to him, burn with the flame that was and would always be Tobiume.

She was burning now and she could feel it, hotter, colder, a hundred times worse than it had been the first time flames had licked her skin and the name Tobiume had graced her tongue. The fire that didn't touch her was ripping down her defenses and tearing away the darkness she tried to hide in so desperately. "I don't want it! I don't! If he's not here, I have nothing! Why won't they believe in him like I do?"

_Because people cannot trust as easily as you do._

"But he was my captain!"

_He was a man of illusion._

"He was everything!"

_You have so much more than just him._

"Everything, Tobiume, everything!"

_Stand, Hinamori Momo. Stand, or I will tear you apart as he tried to. Why do you not see that which is around you?_

She snarled in response. Snarled, because her words were failing her. She knew it was a forced belief, her mind trying so hard to hang onto the last sight of him, the kind man with the kind smile and the kind nature and the kind words and the cold steel forcing its way though her and the cold way her blood had felt upon her hands and the hard way she'd hit the ground and the blank stare as he watched her breathing slow and-

And she was on her feet, snarling, growling, fists clenched. "What am I supposed to do? There is nothing to believe in if not him!"

_Believe in me. Let me become what I should so you can too. Swallow the flame, little one. They call you Firebird, yes? Let us become worthy of such a name. These wings will grow too._

"Tell me how!" Tears streamed down her face as thunder boomed, lightning ripping the sky open as the downpour continued.

_I cannot. If you will not do this for yourself, then you will remain here, Momo. You will die, and I with you. That is our fate._

"Firebird?"

_Fire is cleansing. It can eradicate anything it wishes, melt the coldest ice, evaporate the deepest water, banish the darkness and intensify the light. It will continue to burn, the strongest wind only fanning the flames, earth and wood only fuel to it. You have the strength to find this, if you want. But you must reach beyond what you are, beyond that man. Do not forget those that helped bring you here, but do not settle for their words. If you are to do this, you cannot trust anyone but yourself._

"What... what do you mean?"

_Poor girl... Sleep. Quiet yourself, this place, your heart and your heat. Stop the rain, and we will start. Understanding will come._

As soon as the words were between them Hinamori had sunk back into the mud and this time Tobiume moved closer, wings outstretched to shelter her from the rain as it finally showed signs of lessening. Her gaze was intense, but she had faith. After all, she hadn't picked the meek girl because she liked this form; she had chosen her for the potential that burned just out of reach. The potential she didn't know she had, the potential Aizen had seen, used to his own end, allowed to shine in the directions he saw fit. But no more. Tobiume would see to it that Hinamori's potential was unleashed fully, even if it meant a larger scar than she already bore. The first time, Tobiume had allowed the gentle flames to lick at her fingers, the soft caress of wind and leaves and petals on her cheek.

This time it would be an all consuming fire that would not cease. Hinamori would suffer through it, or she would become ash. There was no other way, in the zanpakuto's mind.

The trees finally started to burn with real fire. They would plant new trees when she woke. New trees, and new memories, not to replace those that came before, but to strengthen what would come next.

_Yes_, she purred, stroking the captive dark hair. _We will burn, Momo. But those that have reduced you to this state will find you impervious to fire if you make it through this. And immunity to fire is one of the greatest strengths a shinigami can have, little one. Let us burn, and we will grow._

* * *

Unohana watched carefully as the young vice captain tossed feverishly in her bed, sweat coating her forehead and warm to the touch. Whatever was going on, it was her honest belief that Hinamori would persevere. She had to, after all. Her zanpakuto was calling her, and no shinigami could refuse the call of such a powerful entity, no matter their physical or mental state.

When you were called, you went.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Bleach. Nuff said.

* * *

It seemed like minutes of comforting blankness, but it had clearly been longer than that. The ground was solid, dry, the trees were gone but new saplings were sprouting, the grass was soft and green, and there were flowers here and there.

Hinamori could almost believe she'd gone back in time, to when she'd first noticed her reiatsu growing. This place would have started to show around then. This place could have looked like this then.

But there were still signs that it wasn't right, that this place had seen too much. Burnt twigs littered the ground. The flowers looked sickly. The grass was unevenly spread. This place wasn't whole yet.

Tobiume's gaze was painful, staring through her. "I..."

She stopped, trying to force herself to look into her eyes. Brown, mirroring her own. Her eyes slid back to the ground. Pitiful. Weak. Useless. "I don't think I can do this." The ground shuddered.

_You know the words. Say them._

"I can't-"

_Hinamori Momo! If you will not believe in yourself I can do nothing for you. But do not abandon **me** as easily as you will abandon your life, your friends, your subordinates. Say the words, little one!_

She blinked, irritation clear. "Just who do you keep calling little, sprite?"

_Release your anger. It will only hurt you more._

"Stop acting like you're smarter than me!"

_Your frustration will only give you pause and your enemies' openings._

"I can't! I'm not like Hitsugaya-kun!"

_You don't have to be like the ice wielder. You only have to be yourself, Momo._

She paused, sniffled, wiped at her eyes.

_Say it._

I can-

_Say it._

I will-

_Say it!_

"Hajike! Tobiume!"

There was laughter and while it reminded her of the wind chimes and summer breeze it seemed different somehow, filled with want and need just like the zanpakutos voice. She watched, slightly scared of the way those crimson gold wings spread wide, seemed to grow, and then her hands were full of cold steel and warm flame, the jitte-like shikai form held tight in her grasp once more.

Hours passed like that, Hinamori going through the motions, every stroke, every slice, the sword answering every beck and call, the slightest movement of her wrist, the smallest turn of her body. Every blast of energy dissipated before it could do damage to the growing trees, but every blast was stronger, fiercer, burning. All of her frustration, anger, guilt, sorrow, pain, all of it went into her attacks until there was nothing left and even in this place exhaustion set it.

_You are at the stage you had reached before. Will you go further?_

She smiled, a small, grim thing on her face. There was no other way. "I can't back down. I will become fire." Her body screamed, her lungs were filled with ash and flame, but she pushed on. She knew the words. She just had to say them.

* * *

Her body was burning. Nothing they could do brought her fever down and Unohana watched in silence as the girls body shuddered from the strain. "We can't do anything, Captain. This is an internal battle. To force her out of it would most likely do lasting damage to her mind."

"What part of her mind isn't damaged already?"

"You should know better than that." She sighed, glancing over at him with weary eyes that mirrored concern and understanding at his stubborn tone. She had always been able to see through people better than most. "She is fighting herself for control, trying to come to grips with the events in her own way. If we don't let her do this, it is possible we will never get her back."

"Her fever won't come down?"

"We have done all we can. We can only wait. But if you ask me-" she paused, staring at him, through him, past him, beyond him but still at him "-Hinamori-fukutaichou will make it. She is still strong, and this is proof of that strength. Her zanpakuto would not ask this of her if there was no chance she would make it through."

"If she's fine, and she wakes, will she still cry for him?"

She sighed again, watching his eyes slide shut in exhaustion and irritation. "Perhaps. But he is not the only one that has left a lasting mark on her, Captain. Tobiume is doing what she can to help Hinamori-fukutaichou recover physically and mentally, but she cannot and will not erase the past. The only choice Hinamori-fukutaichou has is to give in or move on."

"Give in?"

"She will most likely die." The shock was evident on his face at her simple response and she knew he couldn't understand how quickly she'd reasoned that. She glanced over at the whimpering girl, not to avoid the gaze but to allow him to look as pained as he wanted. "If she cannot let go of the events surrounding his betrayal, if she cannot realize that he is not who she thought he was, then the fire she is currently fighting against will consume her soul. That is my honest belief."

"I see. Thank you, Unohana-taichou."

"You're welcome, Hitsugaya-taichou." The briefest of nods, a small growl in the back of his throat that she pretended not to hear, a swish of white fabric and the young shinigami was gone. The healer turned her attention back to the small girl with a smile. "Did you see that? There are people waiting for you, Hinamori-kun."

_

* * *

_

Why are you doing this?

_She must grow._

_You are killing her._

_You didn't do the same to assume your form as you are now? Do you expect me to believe that the boy who holds you saw you like that from the very first moment?_

_He saw nothing but me and my ice and the future. It is not my fault you chose a child who sought to hold herself back._

_I thought you would be the most likely to understand._

_You are my opposite, Tobiume._

_But we are still drawn to each other. Will you still question me?_

_He questions you._

_He questions **her**. He does not see her as I do. No one does. I have seen her soul, Hyorinmaru, and it is a beautiful thing._

_Your true form?_

_She will find it._

_I still believe you are hurting her for nothing other than your own gain._

_Did you not see his pain, then? Do you not see the pain of everyone around her as she continues as she was before? If fire cannot cleanse her, nothing will._

_His soul is at rest. I have no need to see what others want._

_You are blinded, Hyorinmaru. Your ice boy craves her flame._

_He needs only me._

_She needs him._

_He is **mine**._

_And I?_

_You are your own, Tobiume._

_No. I am hers, and she is mine. I will not share her with someone like the traitor, but I cannot deny your ice boy his place in her heart. So why do you deny hers in his?_

_His heart is ice._

_And hers flame._

_Opposites._

_Drawn to each other. Like us. She will make her way through this, and she will need him._

_If that is true, then she will not have grown at all._

_No. She will have grown more than you can realize. Reliance on others is not a weakness. Rather, their feelings can be used as fuel._

_You are true to your element, Tobiume._

_Regretfully, you are true to yours as well. I have missed it, Hyorinmaru._

_This banter does nothing but tire me. You will stand by your assertions, and I mine._

_Then I shall prove you wrong with this girl, and we will melt your carefully guarded ice. We will burn that which stands in our way. She will realize, and we will grow._

_If she does not, I hope it is not too long before we are reunited again._

_There is no fear of that. We shall see each other again soon._

* * *

**A/N:** If it's not obvious (and I fear it isn't because I tend to fail) the last section is zanpakuto banter, in this case between Hyorinmaru and Tobiume. There's a few more planned, so hopefully it's not too irritating for people to read. --; The centered text will always be the other zanpakuto, while the left aligned text will be Tobiume. And um, about the zanpakuto's? I know they're supposed to take after their users personalities and everything, but I honestly don't see some of them that way so apologies in advance for any ooc-ness that occurs with them. I also don't fall into the belief that a zanpakuto has one wielder and one wielder only, hence Hyorinmaru's comment about being reuinited even if Hinamori fails. 

Last zanpakuto note, about Tobiume. I both love and hate the theory that she's a pheonix-type spirit. I'll accept fire based, although I tend more towards kidou in general, but hopefully no one's going to string me up by having her as a sprite creature. (For now, anyway!) I'm going with fire based here just because it lends itself to element talk better, and I love having Hinamori and Hitsugaya as opposites that way. I also say Tobiume is a girl, if you hadn't picked up on that. --; According to one of the omake chapters, you can have a female zanpakuto, so I just always assumed she was.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Bleach. Nuff said.

* * *

_Are you awake, little one?_

She groaned, staggering to her feet in a field of yellow and red. Sunflowers, fire lilies, types she'd only dreamed of seeing, all somehow coexisting, surrounding her and moving gently in the lightest of breezes. Home, they said. You are home. Her hands felt raw, her head a jumble of thoughts and feelings, her whole body protesting at the slightest movement.

_It is time to continue, Momo._

"How?" Her eyes focused on the sprite, wings almost comically large on the small frame. Hinamori may have been seeing things, the red and yellow surroundings affecting her perception of the crimson gold wings but she honestly doubted that. If they looked bigger, they were bigger. That simple.

_You must come to terms with yourself. Your feelings. your memories. Each flower here represents some part of you that you refuse to give up. You do not need all these. Will you do it, destroy those you no longer need to hold onto? Can you place aside those feelings of admiration for a mirage and accept the betrayer that he is?_

She didn't notice the tears falling down, but the wind had picked up slightly. Not only did the task itself seem impossible - there had to be hundreds, thousands of flowers before her - but Tobiume was still standing firm against her.

_Start with this one, Momo. Start, and do not stop until you can tell me you understand why people hurt you._

Shaking fingers freed the clymacen flower from the sprites grip, and she closed her eyes, remembering the moment she'd first tried on her adjunct badge, the anticipation, the joy. Flames licked at her fingers but only the flower was destroyed, ash floating to the ground.

Hours later the tears stopped. The clearing was once again empty of flowers, and the trees surrounding her were starting to show signs of blooming. She didn't dare turn her body to look at Tobiume, almost afraid of those wings, afraid of what was changing about her even as she felt the change within her, the flames burning brighter, hotter, swirling around her protectively in a manner she'd never felt before. She was becoming fire, and Tobiume was growing. It seemed right, as it should happen, but the empty clearing only saddened her. The skies threatened to tear apart with a new storm and with a quivering lip she sought out the last flower, somewhere there, hiding amongst the trees. Her most precious thought, her tightly guarded memory -

She found the bird of paradise easily enough, hidden behind a peach tree, and she couldn't help but stare at it, stare and stare and stare, unable or unwilling to move at the sight of it. The flower itself was beautiful, the memory she knew contained behind it horrifying but also loving, a day she'd almost died, but a day she'd rescued someone and in turn been rescued.

_He was using you even then._

She choked back another scream.

_Those odd hollows were his fault._

She knew, damn it, she knew, but that didn't make it any easier to erase the first time she'd realized she admired him. It didn't make it any easier to lock away the part of her that thought she could come to love him.

_Shinigami died because of him. You were wounded, the ice boy was wounded, the whole of Seireitei is on the brink of war, and you still want to hold onto the first time he graced you with a smile?_

No no no, no, it was all wrong, he had smiled and the world had been put right, but he had smiled and she had sunk back to the ground, heavy, listless, bleeding, torn, broken, unable to move, no noise, no words, only the horrific sight of his crooked smile that smile always that smile and then the flower was in her hands and even before the flame could rise up to claim it she was ripping it to shreds, tearing apart the beautiful petals and letting the fire catch them as they fell back to the ground.

"There!" Her voice was raw and rough with desperation, exhaustion, pain, loss, a hundred other emotions all crammed into the sound of her scream. "I know! I get it!"

_Will you trust him again?_

"No." Bitter, edged, sharp. "No, I won't." A whisper, but strong, convicted. Truthful. Grown up.

_Then find me, Momo._

She blinked watery eyes, looking around in panic. She hadn't even noticed that the sprite had disappeared, so focused on the task at hand, on destroying her own memories. But they weren't destroyed - she could still feel them, still see them, they were still _there_, inside of her, like they'd always been, but this time when she thought back on all she'd done she was suddenly aware of how much of it involved running around like an obedient puppy for a man who didn't really exist. "Did I really do all that, Tobiume? Am I a vice captain because of my own strength, or because it was easier to use me?"

_You will question yourself and the path you have taken?_

"I just want to know my strength."

_Do you not possess my shikai form?_

"Yes."

_Do they not call you a kidou master?_

"Yes."

_Then why doubt your power, Momo? He may have twisted you accordingly and inhibited your growth, but it does not mean you did not grow at all. You only have to find your wings._

Hinamori pushed on through the trees. She would find Tobiume.

* * *

She was ice cold and his hands were shaking. He could do nothing, and Unohana watched as he stood over her body, holding back all his emotions. He wanted so desperately to reach out, take her hand and bring her back to them but he'd been warned of the consequences and so his hands shook as he kept them from her, as he'd kept himself from her for years.

"Does this mean she's getting worse?"

"No. I do not know her relationship with Tobiume, but I believe this means she has made progress." Dark eyes watched him bite his lower lip, fingers twitching as he continued to hold himself back.

"Unohana-taichou. Is there nothing-"

"We must be patient," she cut the blonde off, glancing out of the window. "Hinamori-fukutaichou made this choice herself, and we can only respect that."

"I... Understand." He stared at her still form, wishing she'd wake up there and then, grace him with that smile he knew and loved. But Hinamori stayed in her mind and Kira couldn't bring himself to do anything but watch. "If she wakes, and I don't get the chance, will you tell her I was here?"

"Of course, Kira-fukutaichou." Her smile was warm as she watched the blonde retreat down the hall, nervous, eyes downcast, expression somewhat pained. "Hinamori-kun, will you lay there until everyone has come to you? We're waiting, so don't let us down."

_

* * *

_

Has it stopped raining?

_Yes. She understands._

_You chose wisely, then._

_He can grow too, Wabisuke. She will help him as much as she can._

_Is that a promise?_

_They are friends. Even if the last time we were together was during a fight, they cannot change that so easily. It is her nature to forgive._

_Her nature has left her in that state._

_Her nature has made her strong. It does not rain here anymore. But perhaps, for you...?_

_I do not ask him to try, Tobiume. It must be his decision._

_You will not push him to realize that he can be stronger?_

_No. He will wait for her, and I in turn for him._

_You are more patient than Hyorinmaru. He seeks to own his boy with his ice and keep him from her._

_You have my word that he will not be kept from her. He needs her._

_And she needs him, although perhaps not in the same way._

_They are friends._

_And they will remain so._

_I hope her flame can banish those tears these events have caused._

_The next time you and I speak, she shall try._

* * *

**A/N:** Zanpakuto banter in this case is Wabisuke. (Get it? Whoever's talking to Unohana, their zanpakuto talks to Tobiume. I'm clever like that) 

Just to clarify, I love the relationship between Hinamori and Kira. It's my Obvious/Oblivious OTP. I really like the way he acts towards her. I guess I'm a dork like that. --; But this fic isn't really about exploring that side of it, although there will be some diving into Hinamori's relationships with other shinigami later on (and there has been some already.) I know I'm laying down HitsuHina and KiraMori hints, but that is a large part of who she is, personally. I don't support one over the other (although if it came to it I'm sure I could make a choice. --;) so hopefully you'll all just bare with me while I write all this crap about Kira and Hitsugaya's 'feelings'. xD;

...And yes. I like to think that their zanpakuto's are smarter than them sometimes. :3

Also If anyone has a flower they associate with Abarai, Kira, or Hisagai, it'd be awesome if you let me know. I'm having a bit of trouble coming up with them at this point in time. D


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Bleach. Nuff said.

* * *

Trees. Everywhere. Petals raining down. Clear, cloudless, open sky. Grass.

Fire.

Hinamori whirled around, gasping for breath. No matter how far she ran she always managed to come back to the clearing, and no matter which direction she took none of them contained Tobiume.

But then there, a flash of colour out of the corner of her eye. Crimson gold. She turned, raced, panted, paused. Breathless. She stared, mouth open as she looked at the flower. Another bird of paradise. She eyed it warily, almost unwilling to proceed. Was this it? She came in search of Tobiume, only to find another flower? It couldn't be. She screamed in frustration, screamed because somewhere along the line that had become her response to everything as eternal day wore on in this place. It was almost a joke that this place, her _heart_, could be so beautiful, so filled with sunlight and gentle breezes when she knew she was a mess externally, bruised, broken, thrown aside, clinging to the small sliver of hope that Aizen was being forced into these things by Ichimaru and Tousen even though she knew deep down that the cold smile he'd shown her as the blade plunged deeper had been far too real, far too him, far too painful to comprehend.

Her voice gave out on her and she sobbed, sinking to the ground. What was left? What was that fragile looking flower hiding? Shaking fingers reached out to touch the petals.

She paused, unable to still her hand. "Tobiume?"

_I do not know. This is your heart, Momo._

She sobbed again, one hand outstretched to the flower, the other finding its way to her stomach and clutching at fabric, all still shaking. "I can't. I just can't. I still want to see him!"

_You will die then. You have come too far._

"I just, if I understood I could, if I could talk to him, bring him back!"

_Hinamori Momo! There is no one to bring back! Why must you be so stubborn on this? Do you not wish to know what was kept from you by that traitor? Will you let yourself fade away because he left you? Will you run to his side like an obedient little puppy or will you finally do something for yourself?_

The wind picked up. She continued to shake, trying to calm her mind, calm the wind, calm herself. Why was she even doing this?

Aizen had left her for dead. He had made her point her zanpakuto at Kira and Hitsugaya. He had told her to turn to only him when she was worried. He had always asked her to stay late if he was still working. There was very few moments of her waking life in Seireitei that had not been filled with his presence.

And now there was no chance of regaining that. But her shaking fingers told her that she wasn't sure she did want it, that she did want to return to that. Hadn't she left Hitsugaya to be stronger? Because she wanted a chance to protect him too. Even if he was a captain, he'd always be the first true friend she had.

Things started to make sense then.

Hitsugaya had always been there for her, even when she'd turned to Aizen for advice. Her academy days had been filled with loving friends, her squad days too. Her days as a vice captain had left her with adoring subordinates. And more so than that, she'd always had Abarai and Kira there to turn to on advice about vice captain duties, or just to take a break and complain about paperwork with. Even Hisagai had been there for her, ever since that day. Although he got on better with the boys, she'd always been able to count on her respected senpai's advice, both before and after graduating from the academy. She'd never shunned them willingly, but had so often backed out of moments together because of something Aizen had asked her to do.

She had distanced herself from everyone she cared about at his request without even realizing it. Aizen had systematically removed everyone from her life until he was all she had to depend on.

She screamed again, in anger, in frustration, in pain, shaking fingers ripping the flower to shreds as the last remnants of her love and adoration for Aizen filled her senses.

No more. If this is what it was like, she didn't want another flower to grow in this place. Hinamori sobbed, quieter this time, bringing her arms around herself as there was no one else to comfort her in this place. Her heart was empty because Aizen had seen to it that he was the only one in it.

No more.

If this place was to be as it had been, then it wouldn't be like this. It would be under her own terms. It would be how she wanted.

Again.

She stood, fists clenched, voice level, fire burning. "I can't find you yet. I'm sorry, Tobiume. We need to start over. I'm ready this time."

_Very well, little one._

Bright red light, two simple words, and two hearts joined as one. Hinamori pressed on as the flames grew.

* * *

She was burning up again. "As I told the other two, she is struggling internally. We can't wake her up, or it will do lasting damage." Unohana watched the impatient shinigami with an amused expression. He looked ready to throw her patient against the wall in an effort to snap her out of it, while at the same time so obviously holding himself back.

"But she's going to be fine, right? She's going to wake up? This isn't going to be the last chance I get to see her, is it?"

"I know Hinamori-fukutaichou has been through a lot recently. But she was able to wake up from the coma Aizen put her under. I'm sure she can make it through this too." He really looked ready to throw something, his eleventh division traits coming to the forefront as he paced the small room out of a sheer lack of anything else to do to keep him distracted and moving.

"Good... Good. She'll wake up. She has to. I know she will. Right? Hinamori's never let me down before."

She quirked a smile. It was well known Hinamori was one of the more liked shinigami, but even knowing their history Unohana would never had expected this sort of reaction from him. "I knew you were at the academy, in the same class, but I didn't know you were close, Abarai-fukutaichou."

"Ah... We're not really, I guess. But we got on well, and she was always really patient about helping me learn kidou." He laughed nervously, finally pausing in his movements as he glanced over at the dark haired girl. "Listen, she gets better or worse, I want to know."

"Of course. You will be one of the first alerted." She smiled warmly as Abarai gave her a dismissive wave, heading back to the sixth division with an irritated scowl in place. "Hinamori-kun? Your friends are getting worried. Don't leave them for much longer."

_

* * *

_

Hey! How long is she gonna mope about for, eh?

_She isn't moping, Zabimaru._

_Sure seems like it to me! Why doesn't she just wake up, hm?_

_She isn't ready to yet._

_You've got half this place awash in speculation, Tobiume. What are you doing to her?_

_What she requested. A chance to become herself._

_Oh, is that so? She requested it?_

_Do you doubt us too?_

_I hear you got ice boy's panties in a bunch, is all. Isn't like you. You're normally a lot less aggressive, you know?_

_I wouldn't call this aggressive. But Hyorinmaru does not share my views on this._

_Does he ever? Forget about ice boy and that idiot dragon though. She's gonna wake up, right?_

_Yes. She will not be the same, though._

_Things like this change you. There's nothing that can be done. She was utterly betrayed._

_You have no objections then?_

_Hey, I didn't say you were doing the right thing! But... When she wakes, we will be there._

_I'll ask no more than that._

* * *

**A/N:** Zabimaru and Tobiume. Annnnd, Zabimaru is probably the most ooc zanpakuto ever, but there you go. 

Before anyone yells at me, I don't support Abarai/Hinamori. But they do have a past together, and that's something a lot of people tend to gloss over, favouring Abarai's relationship with Rukia and all that. So this is my little stand against people who forget that Hinamori's academy days were spent with Kira _and_ Abarai. That, and because I've always seen Abarai as a protective big brother to Hinamori. :3


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Bleach. Nuff said.

* * *

She couldn't breathe. The smoke was getting to her, invading her lungs, forcing her to cough as she collapsed on the ground, exhausted. Burned. The whole place was burning and she was too.

But it didn't hurt. Hinamori took another shaky breath, willing herself to move, to stand, to grasp cold steel one more time. Tobiume would not be used in a vengeful manner. Tobiume would not be used to spill blood. Tobiume, in her hands, had never been used for anything. Except for when she'd let herself be blinded by rage.

Tobiume, in her hands, would be used to protect.

It became her mantra as her fingers closed around the hilt of Tobiume's shikai form, energy already gathering there, ready, waiting. She took another shaky breath, calmed herself, raised the zanpakuto. Concentrated. Tobiume would be used to protect.

_Who will I protect, Momo?_

She frowned, gaze intent on the red ball of flame that licked at the hilt. She had no captain to defend anymore. She had alienated her friends, slowly but surely. And she had lost the trust of her division, if not the entire Gotei Thirteen. Who did she have left to defend? "We will protect each other. The fifth division. Kira-kun, Abarai-kun, Hisagai-senpai, Matsumoto-san, my friends. Granny. And-"

Growling. _That is a lot of people, Momo. If you could only save one?_

She closed her eyes, willing herself to control the blast, to not fire it until she was ready. Slowly, slowly the red flame was changing and she could feel it in the way Tobiume shook in her hands. "If I can only save one, then I am not who I thought I was."

Laughter. Honey and silk and wind chimes in summer breezes with the untamed roar of fire beneath it all. _So who will we protect, Momo?_

"We will protect everyone we can with our own power." Hinamori's eyes opened, confused, still feeling the ball of energy but no longer seeing it. She released and it flew true, hitting its mark but she couldn't trace its path, couldn't sense it from the time it left her zanpakuto to the time it hit. She smirked, summoning again, testing herself, willing the now invisible energy blast to follow her every command.

It did.

_You will not find the world as you left it._

"I don't expect to."

_People will not treat you as they once did._

"I wouldn't want them to."

_Will you wield me as a weapon, then? Like every other fool in Seireitei, will you use me and yourself until there is nothing left?_

She paused, not quite grasping the true meaning of the question. "You are my friend, Tobiume." Wasn't it that simple?

_But you can be strong without me._

"I am stronger with you. You're not a weapon, but you are a part of me. Until there is nothing left, I can only hope you are willing to aid me when I need it. I will not force you to answer me." She didn't expect flame, any fire, to be so easily subjugated. After all, Yamamoto-taichou held the strongest fire based zanpakuto, and it showed in the way he carried himself. Neither bowed to the other. They simply were. Codependent. "I will not belong to you, either." Existing as one. "But I will lend you my strength when you need it." Together, burning.

For once, the zanpakuto had no reply. Hinamori continued on, gripping the hilt that much tighter.

Tobiume, in her hands, would be used to protect.

* * *

Medics rushed back and forth, carefully tending to the burns as they avoided jostling the girl. Nothing healed them, and they continued to feel hot to the touch, like there was a fire underneath her skin, constantly burning, trying to break its way out and consume her. Unohana watched, expression as guarded as the one before her.

"How long as it been?"

"She has been out for a week and a half." He shifted, brought his hands together, let them rest at his sides again.

"Her condition hasn't stabilized?"

"No. She has been going from fever to chills unexpectedly, and now there's this. But I do not think we need to worry. Her body is holding strong." He fidgeted under her watchful gaze, under the constricting orders laid in place to protect the girl that was looking more and more fragile as she whimpered softly.

"Does anyone thing she won't make it?"

Unohana paused, looked at him. Eyes narrowed as they met with stubbornness. "If they feel that way, it has not been made known to me. As far as I am aware, everyone is waiting for her to wake up. Not because they hope she will, but because they know she will."

"I was with Kira and Abarai last night. They said she looked-" He paused, unable to really find the words and not just because most of the previous night had been spent in a drunken stupor staring at each other and Matusumoto's breasts until Hitsugaya had finally come in search of his vice captain and dragged her off to bed with a reproachful glare, but because the words would mean he was admitting that the girl who had once saved his life was battling with something he couldn't help with.

She smiled warmly in response. "Hisagai-fukutaichou, your coming to visit means a lot to her, I'm sure. As you can see, she's not in any real physical pain. Anyone else with those sorts of burns would be screaming this place down at this point. Her heart is strong, and she will be able to tell you all about it when she wakes."

He frowned slightly, watching Hinamori's breath catch in her throat as she whimpered again. "I'll come back when I have a chance. Thank you, Unohana-taichou."

She watched him walk away, offering a quiet "you're always welcome here" to his retreating back. Unohana glanced back over at the sleeping girl, an amused expression on her face despite the seriousness of her burns. "Well, Hinamori-kun. It looks like you make friends whatever you do. And so patient, too. Don't disappoint us."_

* * *

_

Is she in pain?

_No. She burns, but it does not affect her. She is becoming immune._

_The world will not wait for her._

_She knows._

_We are not waiting for her._

_As long as you accept that she will return, there is nothing else you need to do._

_I owe her my wielders life once. I could not have chosen him if it weren't for her._

_It is not something she has concerned herself with._

_Are you to continue then?_

_We will go until she cannot. No matter the outcome, she is the one I have given myself to. I have faith that she will be able to command me fully._

_A girl like that, afraid of battle, constantly trying to find peaceful solutions, and you let her tame your fire?_

_No. There is no one that can tame fire. But she can utilize it, as long as it will protect._

_But who will she use it to protect?_

_If you have to ask, then you do not know her at all._

_No one knows her like you, Tobiume._

_I wonder.

* * *

_**A/N:** I don't know about you, but I have no clue what Hisagai's zanpakuto is called. As far as I'm aware it hasn't been released, and he's not been shown calling on it. So there you go. I'm not brave enough to make up a name, but hopefully it's clear enough without one.

And... Again with the older brother sentiment. Hinamori is the sort of person who draws people to her, and since she did save his life way back in the day I'm sure Hisagai's never forgotten that. A lot of people seem to forget about their relationship as well, so I just had to throw him in there for my own amusement. I'm not exactly taking requests on who else should visit her, but I am open to suggestions. :3


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Bleach. Nuff said.

* * *

The trees were fooling her. She was sure of it. The gentle petals raining down on her, serving as a distraction as she continued to focus. Her reiatsu had grown slightly, enough that even without incantations her kidou was impressive. She had even been able to manipulate some of the spells, bending them to her will as she saw fit.

But something continued to plague her mind.

_It is not your fault._

"I don't know if this is enough."

_Your best will always be enough, Momo. I can ask nothing more of you than that._

"Even if I become stronger, it might be impossible. I might falter."

_Falter? Stumble, fall, Momo. It will not matter. You will have tried. Does that not matter to you?_

She screamed, again, again in frustration, again in pain. "I can't put him behind me!"

_So do not seek to. Instead, open your heart to the rest._

She growled, angry, irritated, exhausted. "You ask too much, too soon." Hinamori's resolve was wavering, her heart unable to push on with steadfast determination. How, why? Tobiume seemed so sure, so knowing. Patient, even, in some small way. But she couldn't just place everything behind her and move. When, if she woke, it would be like last time. With a scream, a penetrating noise ringing and echoing in the dark shadows of an empty room in the back of the fourth division. With panting sobs and hot tears.

With his mark on her.

_You think you are alone?_

She turned, eyes wide. What, when?

_You think you were the only one deceived, hurt, betrayed, left?_

No. No, Hinamori was smarter than that. She knew that even she was hurting people with her own shortcomings, her inability to overcome her demons and grasp onto Tobiume's words, by not waking and not being able to smile for her friends. Were they waiting for her?

_Do you expect them to just sit there in the dark for you?_

Did she want them waiting for her?

_Do you want their lives to stop until you can rejoin them?_

Did she want them to leave her?

She didn't know. Her head was spinning, unable to handle the sudden influx of conflicting thoughts and emotions. She knew, by now she was well aware that she was captain less, alone, without guidance.

But Tobiume was here. Tobiume alone remained, finding some part of her heart that Hinamori herself still had yet to discover, finding some way to bury herself so deeply into Hinamori's existence that Hinamori was sure that without the zanpakuto her life would simply cease to be. No matter how empty the dark, how long the road, how far away the blade lay, Tobiume would remain at her side. She wasn't alone. She wasn't the only one hurt. Hitsugaya had almost died because of her, others had been hurt throughout the entire ordeal. She'd seen the reports. Hisagai and Kira were captain less too. She was sure that in their own way, everyone was waiting for her. Patiently or not, in Abarai's case, but waiting none the less, for her. And she wanted that, wanted them to be there when she woke. Even if the room was empty, just knowing that they would come when they could, it was good enough. She didn't want them to stop their lives, not over her.

But she didn't want them to leave her, either. She wanted, needed them. Her friends. _Hers_, by all right and definition. Like she and Tobiume belonged to each other.

Would you miss me, she'd once asked. Her response had been wind chimes, light, airy. Fast.

* * *

_I miss all, Hinamori. A zanpakuto has no control over those who fall, those who can stand again. It is not our place._

"Then what can you do?"

_I can lend you strength when your own fails you. I can be company when there is no other. I can offer you advice, warnings, guard you while you sleep. I can be your friend, until the day we are parted._

"Will we have to part, Tobiume?"

_Yes._ The first hint of fire burned its way into Tobiumes voice. _Everything has its time, Hinamori. Our partnership will end, just as all those before you._

She was still so young, so naive. Had only just started to understand her zanpakuto. And she had said, with a grin, "Then call me Momo. Before we part, lets do all we can. Help me protect those I care about."

Wind chimes, fire, summer breeze. Comforting. _Of course, little one. Those you care about will strengthen you, and in turn me. We will do what we can until we can do no more._

"Thank you very much." She bowed, so stiff, so formal, eliciting more laughter from the zanpakuto in front of her.

_Do not thank me, Momo. Not ever. I am only as strong as you let me be. Now, hadn't you better resume?_

She smiled, liking the way the zanpakuto had said her name. Slender, slightly reddened fingers slipped around the hilt, swinging the blade and cutting air. And she had continued with her kidou practice.

* * *

She wasn't sure she was doing it right anymore. While she had managed to train her shikai to emit blasts ten, twenty times more powerful than before, untraceable on top of that, her normal kidou seemed to suffer. Was it just this place? Hinamori doubted that, trying harder, pushing herself to the limits. She had lost all track of time, knew it had been several days since she had woken here again but beyond that it was all lost on her, nothing mattering but this moment in time, this place, her determination burning and her desire to completely understand the kidou hadou spell she was trying to perfect.

"Hadou 63: Raikouhou!"

Perfect. Strong. Flawless. A high level spell cast as it should, ending how it should. Each movement, from holding her hands in the right position to summoning the energy had been carefully planned and set in motion. But it didn't feel right.

Her heart was in it. Her soul was in it. Her everything had been in it.

But it hadn't been enough.

* * *

"Oi, Kira! Wake up, lazy!" Kira fell unceremoniously to the floor with a grunt as Abarai pulled the chair out from underneath him. "Geez, hogging the only seat in this room, huh?"

"Eh? Abarai-kun, I'm sorry! I guess I dozed off."

Hisagai suppressed a laugh as he watched the two interact, arguing over just why Kira had thought it was fine if he fell asleep because after all, what if she woke up to find him snoring there? "Come on you two, no harm done. And she looks peaceful right now, doesn't see?"

There were no arguments over that. They could tell, despite the dark red burns on her arms, that she was fine. No fever, no chills. She could almost be sleeping, and really, that was what she was doing. Taking an awfully long nap. They smiled at each other, right before Abarai made a dash for the chair. Kira was knocked off balance but Abarai hit the floor. "Hey! What sort of bastard just steals a- Oh." He snickered slightly as he watched Kira back up almost instantly at the sight of cold green eyes.

"You're making a lot of noise for three respected vice captains."

The three bowed deeply, mumbling apologies for being so loud and rude in Hinamori's room, even though Hisagai snorted as Abarai made faces at him behind the short captains back.

"I assume you'll stop that now, right?"

He froze before turning his gaze to the white haori with a content smirk. "Yeah yeah, shorty. It's not like it's going to kill anyone."

The temperature dropped and Kira laughed nervously, already backing towards the door. "Ah, Abarai-kun, I don't think you should..."

A low, irritated growl. "Stay, Kira." Cold eyes turned on the blonde as Hitsugaya sat down in the stolen chair. "She likes your company."

The three glanced at each other, somewhat taken aback. It wasn't every day the tenth division's captain was willing to be in the same room with them. And the last time they'd seen him, he _had_ been dragging his rather intoxicated vice captain away from them, muttering something about irresponsible louts who would probably be better off taking a page out of Hinamori's book and trying to talk to their zanpakutos than sitting about drinking the night away. Least of all, this was a room with Hinamori in it.

But they caught his downwards gaze, the small slip in his ice mask. He was just as worried as they were, really. Abarai smirked, leaning against the wall, folding his arms. "Guess we'll wait then."

Hisagai nodded in response, crouching down to the ground. "Is it a bad thing this is our source of entertainment?"

Another low growl, but they all saw the small smile on his face. Enough for Kira to settle against the doorway with a contented look on his face. "Until the end."

He humph-ed at that, crossing his arms and keeping his eyes forward on her sleeping form. "Or until one of you idiots falls asleep and gets kicked out by Unohana-taichou."

Hisagai and Abarai's sniggers were cut short by the arrival of the fourth division's captain, and she looked at them for a second before starting her check up on Hinamori. "Honestly you four. Just don't destroy anything."

**

* * *

**

**A/N:** No zanpakuto banter for you this chapter. But you get a little vice captain dorkisms instead This is also where I'm going to slow down, since past this point I haven't really planned much, so updates aren't going to be quite so fast. So vice captian silliness seems like a good place to leave it while I write the next few chapters. :3


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Bleach. Nuff said.

* * *

The petals had stopped falling. She noticed it, the fact working its way into the forefront of her thought process, stopping her actions, pausing her hands, dissipating the energy she had summoned. 

There was a flash of deep red and she cried out, staggering, trying to breathe as she hit the ground, hands instantly clutching her stomach as if it were the root of all her pain.

And then it was as if the sky was falling, cracking open, tearing apart above her, darkness creeping in like spilt ink, blotting out the vibrant greens and pinks and leaving her in nothing but grays and blacks and deeper blacks and darker grays. Hinamori dug her hands into the soil, pushing herself up, forcing herself to stand even as something tried to keep her down, tied to the ground. She struggled against the force, coughing and unable to quell her need for air, desperately trying to stand against whatever it was that kept her down. "Tobiume!"

Silence, everything was silent but for the roaring in her ears, as if the world was tumbling over and her head spun, her vision blurred, nothing was right everything was falling, fading, dying and then silence, real silence, nothing but the ground beneath her, grass tickling her face and nothing moved not even her until she couldn't stand it any more and she had to move, had to breathe, had to find out if the ground was dark because her face was that close to it or because the sky had run black.

Hinamori was suddenly aware of how loudly her heart was pounding, but it seemed to get fainter and fainter and she gasped, drawing one dirt filled breath of air as she forced herself to turn over, face the sky.

She was rewarded with a loud crack, her head spinning, and nothing but thick darkness.

Then nothing but silence.

* * *

There was an ominous cracking sound and captain looked at vice captains as vice captains looked at the captain, each one instinctively reaching for their respective zanpakutos only to be confronted by a chorus of _No_'s as the respective spirits tried to calmed their respective wielders. 

Hyorinmaru was the first to realize what had happened and Hitsugaya whirled around, reaching out to grab Tobiume from Hinamori's bedside, to see if it was true. But he drew back his hand with a growl, the heat the blade was emitting already tangible in the air.

Wabisuke and Kira stood in silence.

If Tobiume was broken...

Abarai and Hisagai were by her side in and instant, calling for Unohana, trying to ascertain if she was still breathing, hoping, praying, still unsure if they should touch her, unwilling to be the idiot who forced her awake and shattered her mind.

But if Tobiume was broken...

The thought echoed over and over and over in their minds as they waited for the healer. She arrived quickly ushering them into a corner of the room, away from the girl who was suddenly lying there far too still. Unohana set to work as best she could, battling against the rising heat in the room as vision fogged. "Hitsugaya-taichou, if it's not too much of a bother, do you think you could do something about this?"

He glanced up and the other three were quick to spot the utter lack of anything on his face as he nodded curtly. It was how he dealt with things, was the reasoning, and Abarai glanced over at Hinamori yet again as the room started to cool down little by little.

But it was only a temporary measure and it didn't last long at all. There was another crack, louder, sharper, more distinct as the snapping of metal and Hitsugaya frowned, withdrawing Hyorinmaru at once. "I'm sorry. Tobiume is resisting it."

She kept her eyes on the girl but no one missed the look of concern that crossed her face. "I see. There is very little I can do then." Unohana looked at them with a small smile, but it was clear she wasn't as calm as she sounded. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

They understood, they knew, had been surprised she hadn't just kicked them out in the first place. Kira bowed shakily and left first, hands nervously clenched into fists by his side as he forced himself to walk away. Abarai stood rooted to the spot, unwilling to move away from the girl but Hisagai grabbed him by the arm and pulled him along behind him as he left, muttering something to the effect of 'stand by her later, idiot.' And Hitsugaya growled lowly, staring down the healer.

"I won't leave her."

"You think you can stand the heat?"

"I'm going to have to."

She sighed, averting her eyes from his icy gaze. "So young, so stubborn." But she smiled regardless, and it wasn't as sad as the one before. It was good that someone was going to be beside her no matter what. Maybe it would help her get through this. "If it gets too much, you will have to leave. I won't have you coming down with something too."

"Understood, Unohana-taichou."

_

* * *

_

What are you doing?

_I can't._

_...Tobiume?_

_She can't. Not here._

_You don't sound like yourself._

_It's no good, he's still here. Still here. Can't get rid of him._

_Tobiume!  
_

_...So she is failing you..._

* * *

Black. Black was dark. It was comforting. It was nothing. She squeezed her eyes shut tighter, trying to hold onto the darkness even as she felt herself being thrown backwards, hitting a tree, falling to the ground. Her eyes slipped open as she gasped for breath and light flooded in. Bright, warm, blinding. Illusionary. Robbing her of sight and breath in one. 

She was thrown again and this time hit dirt, skidding back as she forced herself to her feet, to get used to the light, get used to the heavy feeling that was now her body.

Coldness settled in, darkening the light, but it was short lived as another crack boomed in the sky. The light returned its blinding glare on her and Hinamori wavered, trying desperately to remain on her feet. Fire was raging, licking at her fingers, the trees, the grass. It surrounded her and the light, exhaustingly hot and unbearable, forcing Hinamori to her knees even as she clung desperately to the form before her, the light, trying to stand.

"Hinamori-kun, you're getting blood on my robes. Do desist."

She froze, shaking hands winding tighter into the fabric of the light as tears graced her face. Knees hit dirt, eyes wide and blind. But she didn't have to see, not to know who had said that. She knew, had always known, would always know.

Tobiume roared but it was silent against the light, dulled by the raging flames. Hinamori didn't hear it, too caught up in the blinding light, the form in front of her, the sound of that voice. The all too familiar word escaped her before she knew what was going on.

"Captain..."

* * *

He turned to face his busty vice captain, wearily eyeing her as she stood over him. She looked annoyed. "What?" 

"I've been standing here for twenty minutes! If you're going to sleep, then do it in your room!" She huffed, crossing her arms as she glared at the short captain before her. "Hinamori doesn't need you falling asleep outside her room. I'll wait with her for a while, you get some real rest."

"I can't. Not when she's like this." He shot a glance over his shoulder, at the door the blocked them from the oppressive heat that Unohana was currently working in. "I can't leave her."

"Captain... She's not going to see it like that." She wanted to add that she was worried too, but knew he'd deny it.

Hitsugaya sighed, standing up and grabbing Hyorinmaru as he did. "If I can't do anything, what makes you think you can, Matsumoto?"

"Ah, captain!" The blonde giggled, pushing him down the corridor heartily. "Because I'm a woman! She doesn't want to wake up with the boys all staring at her!"

"...Whatever. I'll be back soon."

As soon as he'd disappeared around the corner Matsumoto sighed herself, letting the cheerful smile fall. She made her way into the room, glancing at Unohana as she worked around Hinamori. "How is she?"

"Unchanged. Tobiume has made no move either. But I think... If we are to know what happened, then someone needs to talk to Tobiume." Unohana brushed sweat away from her forehead, watching Hinamori struggled for air, even with a respirator. "I've sent Hanatarou-kun to fetch someone to do that, but if you'd like Haineko to try first, then you have my permission."

The healer looked defeated, unable to ascertain exactly what was wrong with Hinamori or why Tobiume was acting strangely, but Matsumoto nodded meekly. "I think we'll try."

_

* * *

_

Do you hear me?

_Hear? Hear. Yes._

_...It is hard for you to talk?_

_Yes. Suppressed._

_You are being with held? There is nothing that could separate a zanpakuto form the one it is bound to though..._

_No. Not with held. Just apart. She doesn't see._

_The trials she is undergoing are affecting her?_

_No. Told Hyorinmaru. He's still here._

_'He', Tobiume?_

_He won't leave. She doesn't see. Can't get him out. Tried._

_Who is it?_

_Him. He won't leave her. She's running to him. I tried._

_It isn't over yet, Tobiume._

_It is. She can't, won't. I can't force her. I have to... She's making me burn._

_You wield fire, you were born to burn._

_Not like this. This isn't fire. This is something else. Not me, not right. Haineko, she can't hold out._

_She will die._

_Can't, won't, don't. You don't understand._

_Then help me._

_Can't. Nothing to say. She is mine. I won't give her to him._

_Tobiume..._

_  
Stay strong, Tobiume..._

**

* * *

A/N: **

First set is Hyorinmaru, second is Haineko. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Bleach. Nuff said.

* * *

Dark. Black. Empty. 

_Little one._

Brown eyes opened to burning flame.

_Do you feel better?_

A nod, a small inclination of the head. No breeze.

_Then let us find the source of this problem._

Magma, earth, a red glow. Tobiume shivered and began.

* * *

"Captain, you say? I suppose that is how I'd appear." The light grinned, blinding her once again, constantly. Hinamori didn't seem to care. "But I am not." 

She really didn't care. It was him, in front of her, before her, hand heavy on her shoulder, with his voice. _Her_ captain. All she ever needed in the world, the most comforting presence she could have imagined, even with the cold tone of voice and offhand remarks that bordered on cruelty.

"I'm surprised at your resilience. I suppose we groomed you a little too well for our needs. And this?" He laughed, a dark, harsh, low thing. "This effort you're putting forward is certainly admirable, but honestly, _vice captain_, just what do you think you of all people can do?" She had no answer, could never answer. Her voice was gone in a mess of sobs and heaving gasps for air as she knelt on the cold dark ground, blind to everything but the sound of _his_ voice. "You are weak." She whimpered. "You were thrown away." She sobbed. "You were meant to die." She sniffled, sobbed, whimpered. "I don't know where you get off, trying to hold onto some small thread of life."

The dark obscured her vision as the light leant forward, whispering in her ear even darker words than she'd heard the first time she'd felt herself be ripped asunder.

"Shall I do it then? Shall I finish slicing you apart?"

_

* * *

_

So he still has a hold.

_He should not._

_She is holding onto your flame, little one?_

_Yes. I will not let her take the rest of me until she has mastered that. _The red light dimmed, glowed, hissed. Tobiume brushed aside petals from her vision, wrapped her wings tighter around her slim body.

_You have grown much._

_It isn't enough, not with him there._

_How did he gain entrance in the first place?_

_...I don't know, fire wielder. _The lion in front of her turned burning eyes towards the boiling magma. The hissing continued.

_Do you know why I brought you here?_

_...No._

_Because you were dying. She was shutting you out._

Even in the oppressive heat of this place Tobiume felt cold. _It is not her fault. _Her wings offered only so much comfort, so far away from the girl she'd bound herself too.

_Will you lay all the blame on him then?_

_She would not leave me._

_She has been betrayed. I would be surprised that she could trust anyone easily._

_You do not know Momo. You have only ever seen her as a dutiful vice captain. She is so much more._

_Is she captain material then?_

The red mane shook as the lion laughed, not even waiting for the answer Tobiume couldn't supply. She frowned in response, not wanting to anger the one in front of her, obedient to her place. But still, some response was needed. _She will prove people wrong. Her heart is not what people expect._

_Even you were surprised?_

_That is none of your concern, fire wielder. Just know that I will save her._ The lion roared, maw gaping and revealing sharp, white points. Teeth designed to tear people apart.

_You are selfish, Tobiume!_

_**No**. I do it for her._

_You do it for yourself! That you might remain as you were. Do you deny that you miss Kyouka Sugietsu? That you would give anything to be there with her right now, that you might see him?_

_I will be the one to **break** him._

_You can do nothing, Tobiume. You have always been weak before him. Just as you are stupidly hard headed before Hyorinmaru._

_And before **you**, Ryujin Jakka? What am I then?_

_You are a child. A little flame user who will not share her other skills. And yet still respectful as duty commands. _

_...Send me back to her._

_I cannot. You are in no condition._

As if to accent the lions words she shook, petals falling and catching fire in the heat of the cavern. _I will save her._

_Save yourself first, Tobiume. Return to her when you have finished this change. If you go now, you will both be destroyed, and we will have to mourn you as well._

_...If that is what you wish, Ryujin Jakka._

_No, Tobiume. Do not think of it like that. This is for you too._

_She will survive._

_I have no doubt you will do your best._

* * *

"_Shall I_, Momo-_chan_? Would you like to feel me slide through you again?" The light was dimming, fading, revealing the form for what it was and what she knew it was. 

But it wasn't.

"Do you want to stain me with your pretty red blood? It was _so_ warm, so enticing last time." She didn't, couldn't, wouldn't move, hands still grasping at the slightly torn captains haori.

It wasn't.

"I've watched you for years, waiting for a chance to get rid of you. I'm glad you thwarted the other attempts. I would have hated to miss my chance, although it looks like I failed the first time around." A smile that was so cold she could feel herself freezing over. It looked like him, but she was sure it was just her mind showing her what she wanted, making her see the form in front of her as something familiar.

It really wasn't.

"Shall I finish the job then, vice captain? Shall I remove you from my captains life, once and for all?" She shook, from cold, from fear, from pain. She needed to move, to get away.

She couldn't.

"Do you have nothing to say?"

She didn't.

"Then I won't ask again. Hinamori Momo, allow me to finish what I started. My apologies that it will be much more painful this time."

Her scream echoed and faded away in the darkness that was left.

* * *

Unohana started, forced awake by the sharp cry that uttered from the girls lips as she shuddered fearfully under the white covers. The room was deathly cold, and she was on her feet in seconds, staring in disbelief at the blood staining the sheets around the slender girl's abdomen. "When- Kotetsu-fukutaichou! Hanatarou-kun! I need warm water, now! We have to stop the bleeding." 

They raced to her side instantly, leaving the figure of a captain framed in the doorway. He clenched his fists, ice cold mask in place as he watched them move with precision and speed to aid the failing girl. They talked quietly, short, meaningless words that escaped him as he stood, guarding his thoughts. Waiting. He didn't flinch at the sight of blood, didn't frown as they pulled aside the covers to reveal the same wound she'd so recently been healed from. He didn't move to hold his own wound, although it echoed with the ghost of a pain, resonating with her. He didn't do anything but watch her face, now plastered in cold sweat and marred by her pained expression. Even as she stopped straining, breath hitching, catching, stopping, he didn't move.

He was vaguely aware of his vice captain at his side, and even less aware of the tear that had found its way onto his cheek.

This was a Hinamori he did not know, a Hinamori he could not protect, a Hinamori he had no way of saving.

She was flat lining, and Hitsugaya couldn't move.

* * *

**A/N: **Ryujin Jakka and Tobiume. Uh... I get a sort of exhasperated parental feeling from him, so there you go. As far as the lion/inside of a volcano feeling goes, creative license is win, guys. That, and I associate lions with pride and fire, and there's not much hotter than a volcano. (Haha. --;) Yamamoto tries hard! And if you can't tell who Hinamori's talking to, then either I'm doing my job far too well, or you've just completly spoiled yourself for Bleach. 

I also get the feeling that I should add, this isn't a pairing fic. It's completly revolving around Hinamori, and although her relationships are important to who she is, I'm not trying to play favourites. So uh, yeah. Sorry. --;


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Bleach. Nuff said.

* * *

Tobiume faltered. Her wings opened, closed, wrapped around her as a chill set in and she didn't try to avoid the blast of energy that bounced off them. The scent of burning feathers and flowers filled the air and she was greeted by the sight of a warm, fluffy red mane through her watery eyes. 

_He has made a move against her?_

She whimpered, hands reaching out to clutch at the fur, burying her face in the warmth it offered against the onset of cold that was raging upon her. _She can't fight back as she is._

_Then we must send someone who can help._

A yawn, as if he was bored with the conversation, gaping maw as he shook his head, shook Tobiume's tears off.

_Do not worry, little fire user. The cold is good for you. Perhaps you will open that part to her next?_

She tried to laugh, a small choked thing, no longer wind chimes in a summer breeze but more, burning embers struggling to relight and flare into brilliance. _Perhaps, if she can..._

_Trust in your wielder, Tobiume. You wanted to prove me wrong._

Fingers wound around the thick red tufts of fur, finding comfort in the softness she encountered. _Will you send them to her?_

_Them? Yes... I suppose they should go. But you know they **can't**. Her heart and mind will not be able to take it._

_She will. She is strong._ Stronger, so much stronger, and yet still failing. The girl wiped away the last few tears she had left to shed, turning to face the lion that had once dwarfed her in size. _We are strong together. _A roar. Amused. She suppressed the small smile that threatened to grace her face and bring forth more tears.

_Yes... Then there is nothing I can do otherwise, Tobiume. You will go back to her._

* * *

Four vice captains stared at the floor. Two captains stared at each other, the only ones able to keep an even gaze as the healer spoke. "Is that acceptable?" 

Hyorinmaru was thrust into her hands almost instantly. She smiled patiently, catching something in his expression that most people would have missed, and her fingers tightened their grip on his zanpakuto as Kotetsu gathered the other four.

"I appreciate your willingness to do this."

Five heads nodded, and she continued to smile as the shorter one disappeared in a flash of white, grumbling something to Matsumoto as he did so. She chuckled and bowed her excuses. "Pardon me. I fear we've let a bit too much paperwork stack up in our division." Unohana nodded, allowing her to follow her captain. It was well known that the ninth and tenth divisions had taken on the brunt of the paperwork with the betrayers gone and Hinamori comatose, and she turned her gaze to Hisagai, almost expecting him to ask to be excused as well.

He simply shook his head. "I'm used to working quickly and by myself. It's all been taken care of."

She turned her attention to Kira and Abarai next, wondering if they would stay too, but she didn't have to worry as Abarai slung an arm around Kira's neck, grinning. "Kuchiki-taichou's taking care of things. He'd hate it if I came back now without knowing how she was." Unohana smiled in response, indicating that they should take a seat outside the room. She wasn't overly surprised by Abarai's words. News had spread quickly that Hinamori was fighting for her life, and nearly everyone was concerned. Although she hadn't really noticed herself, Hinamori was so much like a light to her division, and to lots of other unseated shinigami - proof that you _could_ rise through the ranks, proof that not everyone was harsh and unyielding, proof that goodness and innocence still existed, even after death, even if it was too much like naiveté and had left her like this.

Hinamori was a testament to hard work and determination, a merry little thing for the lower ranked officers to look up too, a cheerful comrade to the other vice captains, and a willing and obedient subordinate to the captains. Although events had left her behind, a shadow of her former self, Unohana believed that Hinamori would make it through. The dark haired shinigami couldn't just be discarded like that.

Not if she had anything to do with it. She glanced at the three vice captains that remained before heading back into the room. Although they'd managed to get her breathing again, it was weak, so pitiful, and the wound continued to ooze blood relentlessly. There was only so much they could do. Unohanas gaze came to rest on the zanpakuto in her hand and she lay it down beside Tobiume and the others. "Please. Bring her back to us."

* * *

Tobiume shivered slightly as she glanced over at them, gathered before her in a place of nothingness. There was only so much she could do, and she refused to let Hinamori fail. Her gaze settled on Wabisuke, and his gentle eyes turned away. 

_I've betrayed her too._

_She can forgive it._

_I shouldn't go first. Choose someone else._

_You won't? _

I can't.

Tobiume shrugged, defeated. She would not force them to do something they did not want to. She had hoped that Wabisuke would understand the most, but the apologiser kept his eyes meekly trained on the ground beneath them. He wouldn't assist her like this.

_Let us._

She turned to the chimera with a small smile, nodding in thanks. _Then we will go._

* * *

Brown eyes locked on brown. Warm hands reached out to touch cold cheeks and the other shook at the contact, turned away, curled up tighter into herself. But Tobiume insisted, bringing the girl forward into her embrace and she soothed the dark hair beneath her hands as she whispered to her. 

Zabimaru waited patiently, watching Hinamori gasp for air, struggling to hold herself and give into Tobiume all at once.

_He has tried to take your life again?_

She coughed, blood, voice thick with it. "Yes." He lowered his head as the snake turned to regard her with cold eyes.

_Do you want it to end? This pain you feel?_

Tobiume glanced at him as she wound the hair between her fingers, expression surprisingly blank. She wouldn't interfere although words were quick to her tongue, words in defense of the fragile creature resting in her arms and once again staining her with blood. Pink to red. Hinamori made no move to respond and continued to shake in her zanpakutos arms.

_You are resisting Unohana's healing._

She shook her head, slowly, the smallest inclination of movement. "No."

_Then why won't the wound close, Hinamori?_

"Because." She raised a shaky finger, pointing out of the clearing. Both were quick to notice the flash of light hiding itself in the trees.

_He is hiding because Tobiume is here?_

A nod this time, and Tobiume instinctively tightened her protective grasp on the girl, wrapping her wings around the both of them to offer her some form of heat.

_Would you have us kill him?_

Another shake of her head, and Zabimaru realized that the noise he'd been hearing was her teeth chattering as she held back tears she surely wanted to cry. He looked at Tobiume, catching her gaze in both of his.

_I'll send for the next._

* * *

Tobiume held tight to the whimpering shadow of her wielder, offering as much as she could in way of warmth and protection against the flash of light she saw taunting them both in the corner of her vision. Her wings wrapped around the shinigami protectively, shielding her from view as she watched the ash cat saunter over calmly. 

_You don't want our help?_

She shook as if she was falling apart there and then, shaking away parts of her that no longer functioned and Tobiume caught the look in her eyes, glazed, far off. Hinamori was slowly fading.

_Can't you do anything, Hinamori? Will you let him kill you... Will you leave us behind?_

She shivered, sniffled, coughed. More blood, and Tobiume winced as she watched the puddle gain in size. "I can't." Hinamori managed to cough out the words at last, meekly glancing at Haineko. Tobiume didn't know which question the girl in her arms had answered with her small response, but she hoped dearly that it hadn't been the first one.

_Very well._

**

* * *

A/N:** Currently dead from projects and assignments, and trying to come up with a way to describe Kira's and Hisagi's zanpakutos. And yeah, I fail and Zabimaru. Hush. I write Hinamori, not that. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Bleach. Nuff said.

* * *

Spirit glanced at spirit, not wanting to break the silence that held them. Two had tried and failed, Wabisuke shivered. 

Tobiume had not returned.

_I will go._

Four spirits watched, slightly amused by the defeated tone the words had gained.

* * *

She clung to the girl, the onset of a cold wind only making her tighten her grip. He was coming closer. 

A roar, a thud, and then there was something there, guarding the small shinigami against the shard of light that threatened to destroy her.

_Leave now, Kyouka Suigetsu._

Angry. He was angry, and the light looked at the dragon in amusement. "You should have died too. I really made a mess of that day! To think you both survived and continue to struggle against this... But I suppose that makes today even better for me!" A low chuckle, matched by a low growl, and the tail came up to brush aside the form. Hinamori shook as trees threatened to give way, clinging to the sprite in return.

The light remained though, grinning, _laughing_ at the dragons' attempt. "You. You have always surprised me. Choosing a weak hearted boy like that, standing in my way... I would rather you than Shinsou, you know. But no matter. You sold yourself to the lowest bidder, a boy with no real potential because he wastes it all."

_Enough! He wastes nothing._

Anger rolled off him in waves, more impressive than his reiatsu in force, the form actually wavering where it stood. Tobiume soothed, watching ice gather on the ground. It was dangerous for him to be here, only speeding up the process from his nature alone. And yet he was needed, the only force that seemed able to stand against the light. _See him, my little one? You have done this. And you think things cannot be changed?_ Hushed, simple words, meaning clear. Hyourinmaru moved for no one and yet he was here, a shield, just like his wielder had been. _Can you not accept this?_

She shook against Kyouka Suigetsu's assertion, a booming "He wastes it all! To protect this, a girl so easily used and thrown away? She has no worth either. You're both meaningless, girl, insignificant. Be glad I care to kill you myself." And then Tobiume and dragon roared. The sprite glaring fiercely in opposition. _You will lay no hand on her! She is mine, and I will not allow this._

_Go through me, and I swear you will cease to exist._

More laughter, somehow standing against the two combined. "Oh? You can do nothing as long as she wants me here. And she does, because I was there before she knew _your_ name, and I was there while your boy pushed her aside to obtain his captaincy. She came to me, cried over how cold he had become after you appeared. It is impossible." Hinamori shook again, clinging desperately to the sprite because it was the truth, because she knew it was, because she couldn't fight the base need to be with her captain, something so ingrained into her.

But the dragon roared and she stopped shaking, calmed by the noise as the tail swished dangerously again.

_Cowards who do nothing but talk deserve nothing. They have all tried to show her what she means to those out there, and yet she remains. Not because she wants to be with you, but because she fears._

A rumble.

_She fears a life without you because you never gave her a chance to see it._

Ground shaking, ice cracking, a whimper.

_I have broken your illusion once._

_You go no further._

_Tobiume will not suffer under you._

_Momo will not suffer this any longer._

_I will rip that shard of you out of her, and you shall see what my wielder can do._

Dangerous ground, the area around them surrounded by blue flame, ice, light. But he waved, shook against the combined force of dragon and sprite, and she touched his snout affectionately as she passed, hands full of cold flame. _Even if she suffers darkness until she sees again, it is better than being blinded by lies._ And then the flame was gone, the light was gone, everything was just gone.

A small whimper, gasping for breath, for life, and ice cracking.

* * *

Muffled sounds echoed across the fourth division, shouts incoherent, orders issued by everyone and no one at once, everyone running everywhere. Chaos, and he stood still, unable to move beyond the threshold. But it was clear what was going on, what had stirred them into a flurry at such an hour - such darkness, a fitting night, and he sneered in contempt of the world that seemed determined to rip everything from him. He caught sight of a nervous looking familiar face and cut past healers, forcing them aside, in no mood to play games. 

They moved willingly, and Kira glanced at the ground quickly. "She's still... It hasn't closed. They've been trying to get her breathing properly again for the past ten minutes, it's, it's horrible. It's like she's barely there." The first two words had been enough, but he waited for the older man to finish. He'd never been blind to the blondes' affection, not like the oblivious vice captain he'd chased, and he nodded, thankful. He had already expected the worst, but that was slightly better than that. She was still alive.

Hisagi came next, a glance, nothing more, moving to Kira's side where his own vice joined them. "Abarai?"

"...Still in there," came the meek response, watching everyone pause as he stormed past, intent on reaching her. Kira chuckled nervously, a rue smile gracing his features. "I figured I wasn't the only one but... I'd hoped I wouldn't have such competition."

Hisagi rolled his eyes, Matsumoto moving to ruffle the mans hair. "Come now, you honestly never noticed? When it comes too little Momo, taichou's always been like this. If she goes to the living world, we never get any paperwork done until she's back! Childhood friends, sure is nice to know it works for some." Her sad smile served to remind Kira that she'd been Ichimaru's friend, before all this, and he sighed, hanging his head in defeat.

"Let's get back in there before he does something stupid, then."

* * *

The redhead hadn't moved from window, watching Unohana and Isane work, other faces coming and going. But no noise, not in here. Outside was all shouting, hectic, frantic, people running. In here it was just her, occasionally whimpering, shaking, gasping for air, the healers removing bloody cloths and replacing them with fresh, white ones. How the frail girl before him was still alive, he did not know. Zabimaru had returned to him, bitter and devoid of hope, but he'd waited, trusting. She'd been the first girl aside from Rukia to put up with him in the academy, and as hard as it was to admit that he gave a damn about anyone, he couldn't deny that the dark haired girl before him would always be special to him. So he ignored Zabimaru's pessimistic attitude, waiting, fists clenched. 

The arrival of the captain in the doorway didn't help his mood any, however, shock registering at how much paler she seemed, how much smaller, weaker, _not there_. He pushed past healers, glare fixed in place as soon as he realized it had slipped, but betrayed himself, hand reaching out to hold hers, mask once again slipping at the coldness of it. She was forcing each breath, each one a rasping noise that contrasted with the rest of the noise around them. Hitsugayas frown came back but deepened into a glare as his eyes fell on the gathered blades. "They did nothing at all?" he spat, not bothering to hide his anger, aware of the way Isane flinched at his words, at how even Unohana paused, startled. They didn't answer, and he pressed on instead of allowing them to sink back into silence. "If she dies, I will not forgive you. Aizen will die at my hands for this."

The force, venom in his words was enough to send the supplementary healers rushing from the room, desperate to find replacements and Abarai stared, speechless at this side of the normally calm captain.

It occurred to the three of them that he was only calm because she had made him so, and none offered him any comforting words as they switched out more bandages.

Hyourinmaru was there in an instant though, sensing his anger, his inability to hold his emotions back, and the dragon calmed him gradually, informing him of everything he knew. Weakened, defeated, blood stained, the sprite shook as she freed her wielders hand from the captains, voice shaking in turn, echoed for him and him alone, all the strength she had. _A piece remains and cannot be removed. We could not find it._

He snarled in response, not even the dragon enough to hold him back. "Move. I will tear it out myself." The sprite acquiesced, watching him as his eyes fell on her wielder once more. _It is buried deep within, ice wielder. Do you really think you can find it? Will you do what she cannot?_ Another snarl, another glare, and then he advanced on the shaky materialized blade. "Take me to her."

Although she shook her head, trees surrounded him instantly, the broken, ice littered ground meeting him as he scrambled to keep his footing. This... yet another snarl as he moved forward, past shattered, dying trees, past lingering flames. The dragon tried to call him back but he pushed onwards, seeking out what he knew he would find. _Her_, that thing over her, that was what was doing this, tearing his world, tearing everyone apart. His own roar this time, another push and the light was scattered and he grabbed for her, held her tight, clinging to Hinamori like she was the only real thing there, ignoring stinging cuts that flashed across his skin as the light that was a shard attacked him, echoed his roar, fought back against the little captain.

But with Hinamori in his arms he didn't care, and Hitsugaya caught the fragment in his hand, blood pouring from the deepest cut yet, the shard threatening to tear right through his palm. But, "Hyourinmaru!" And he was on the hospital floor, metal clasped tight in his hand even as he was aware of muffled shouts to see to him, hazy vision trying hard to focus up, on the bed. Pushing aside someone who was trying to lift him he staggered to his feet, clinging all the tighter to the metal, turning icy eyes to the other captain. Breathless, shaking himself, fear, pain, worry, "Hinamori?"

**

* * *

A/N:** Internet is good, especially when you haven't had it in a while. Cliff hangers make you wonder if you're secretly really evil. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer;** I don't own Bleach. Nuff said.

* * *

The captains desk had been cleared, lain empty for many weeks now, a hollow contrast to the vice captains desk across from it. A neat stack of paper, all filled in correctly and precisely. Slender hands placed one more sheet on top of the rest and the seat was pulled forward slightly. Another stack, smaller, and a sheet was pulled free from it, pen selected from the neat row as it was tacked in turn. Two vases occupied a corner - peach blossoms, lily of the valley, all in full bloom, fresh that morning. Next to them lay a vice captain's badge, cloth neatly folded underneath the wooden tablet, a zanpakuto leaning against the desk and untouched for many hours.

Everything was neat, every movement slow and careful and drawn out in the quiet room as the papers were moved from pile to pile. Various reports, medical passes, hollow sightings, projected costs of training needs for the next three months. All were filled out with an air of quiet grace, of gradual weariness. But the silence was welcome, the emptiness of the room a change from the hustle and bustle of the place the person had last been. A smile slipped then as another paper was filed, fingers already sliding the next sheet into a central position to begin writing.

A boom outside caused the pen to halt, attention turned to the window to watch the fireworks. _Pretty_, was the unbidden thought, surfacing through a mix of memories and even though the smile remained a tear followed it, splashing onto the desk and narrowly avoiding the paper.

"Oi."

The doorway now held a short captain, and it was clear there were others - less patient others at that - waiting outside. A questioning "yes?" filled the brief silence before he continued on anyway.

"You were meant to have gone home already and changed. Matsumoto and Kusajishi are going to murder you if you aren't ready soon." A gruff "hurry up" from outside, clearly Renji, was followed by the sound of something hitting something hollow - no doubt a fist and his head, or something to that effect - and both in the room smiled slightly, though the captain's was smaller, tighter, harder. He didn't gain much joy from the little things anymore.

When Kira was pushed through the door, followed by the previously mentioned Renji and a disheveled looking Hisagi it was all Hitsugaya could do not to just kick them out again. "You are still here! Geez, get on with you! Your senpai demands it!"

"How the hell are you doing paperwork?! Get a move on!"

"Um, you know... We'll be late."

"Would you three _shut up_?"

"Shorty's getting scary! This is why you should have been changed alre-" Renji was cut off, this time by a foot to his stomach, and Kira and Hisagi slowly backed away from their friend and Hitsugaya, laughing nervously.

The whole scene was rewarded with a shy smile, the slim figure claiming the vice captains badge in hand as the choice in apparel was noted calmly. "It will only take a few minutes for me to change, don't worry. I'll be back before you know it."

Waiting was something they'd gotten used to by now and they let her go, Abarai instantly claiming the seat she'd just vacated. Hitsugaya merely rolled his eyes, leaning back against the wall. "She says that, but we'll be here for half an hour."

"Yeah well." Sneaking a look at the papers still on the desk, Abarai shrugged. "She looks better?" The form on top didn't escape his attention and he set about finishing it for her while he sat. "And there's no need for her to be doing all of this already." Hisagi's less than sneaky attempt to see what he was doing was followed by him getting handed a few sheets of his own, some of which mysteriously found their way into Kira's hands. With the three vice captains working, it took them no amount of time and Abarai cheerfully placed the last sheet on top of the out pile. "Done!"

The wind-chime laughter that followed his assertion was both surprising and welcome, and four jaws almost dropped at the sight. "I could have dealt with those in the morning, but thank you." A dumbfounded nod was Abarai's response, the initial shock of seeing a kimono where they'd only ever seen black robes for many years wearing off and general appreciation settling in. It was _beautiful_, reds and golds offset by greens and pinks, a literal field of colour and flowers as the trim, sky blue as the base. It could have been tailor-made just for her for all they knew, and as far as their zanpakuto knew, it had been. It reminded them of a place only the short captain had seen, even if he couldn't recognise it as such. "...Is it that bad? Matsumoto said-"

Four very hasty "no!"'s cut her off, Hisagi leaping forward and claiming her arm with a small flourish of a bow. "It looks perfect, Hinamori." He ignored the small twitch of a frown from Hitsugaya with a small chuckle, "we'd better get going, yes?"

The smile they were graced with caused blushes all round the office as she tugged on Hisagi's arm, pulling him out the door with her and Tobiume was rescued by Kira as Abarai followed, pulling the blonde with him and a smirk in Hitsugaya's direction. "Yeah shorty, we'll be late." A growl met him and they all fell into pace with the dark haired girl, Kira returning the blade. It was tied to her side like it had been so many times before, contentment and skilled fingers tapping the hilt. "You all cleaned up nicely too, you know."

Laughter. Smiles.

It had been nerve-racking to say the least, the other three vice captains storming into the room to see Hitsugaya covered in blood - his own blood - a deep gash in his hand, and then have Isane throw them out of the room as Hinamori stopped breathing completely. Somehow, though, the slim girl had held on, and the small grin they'd seen when she finally opened her eyes, finally looked at them, had been enough. No matter the worry, the pain, the anxiety, that small smile was all they needed.

It had been all she needed too, surprised at seeing her friends gathered around the hospital bed, being visited constantly by seated officers she barely knew, being told how glad everyone was she was better. Returning to the fifth division had been hard, her expecting to see faces questioning her, wondering what she was doing, why they hadn't appointed a new vice captain. But they had cheered for her, smiled, congratulated, accepted. And she had smiled in response to that, too, promising that as soon as she was allowed to get back to the more strenuous activities, that she would make sure that the fifth division had a good, strong captain to lead it. The third and fourth seat had muttered loudly that they didn't want a new captain if it wasn't going to be her, to which her very flushed face had been enough, her promise to try her hardest and gain bankai when she could more than enough.

Hinamori was suddenly enough. Wanted, loved, needed, her division welcoming her back with open arms, her friends waiting patiently and always beside her. Especially now, with an impromptu festival the SWA had decided to spring on the other shinigami. Her smile was infectious, even when it clearly showed how tired she was, how easily worn out she could still be. That smile just made them smile all the more in response, made them care even more.

The small vice captain finally managed to excuse herself, sneaking away to a quiet corner to sit and watch everyone, appreciate the fireworks that still carried some sad memories, to simply be. Tobiume hummed in the back of her mind, reminded her she should leave soon, get some more rest, but she remained where she was for the time being. Hinamori was happy, surrounded by her friends, officers, subordinates. People glad that she could still smile, that she hadn't turned back on herself, wallowing in self pity, depressed. Hinamori had come back to them, stronger than before, and they would hold on to that.

So she watched them move around her, smiling back when she needed to before closing her eyes for a second and sighing softly. Her hands rested against the once again healed stomach. It would take time to fully heal, to get her physical strength back but she didn't mind. She'd take as long as she had to, with friends like that, a division waiting, and Tobiume. The sprite, now just a few inches shorter than Hinamori, smiled gently, softly as she remained beside her wielder. Satisfied. They'd managed, she would heal, grow, learn. And when the time came to take up the blade against the traitors, when it came time to choose sides, to stand strong, Tobiume knew what her little one would do with every breath in her body.

Tobiume was a blade to fight disguised behind a girl with the will to protect, and she would never have chosen anyone else to hold her.


End file.
